2015/365/325 Communication Problem by cogdogblog (cc by)
I mask to be understood, but I do so with the added duress of knowing that if I fail, I am wrong for failing to fit neurotypical expectations. No one says the neurotypical was at fault for making incorrect assumptions about me. So I change my behavior to something that neurotypical people can easily understand. Smile with your cheeks, tilt your head there, pitch your voice here, look at the eyes now, stop swaying, nod, look away now, gesture here. I put in the work to make sure neurotypicals understand what I mean.
In this interesting thread on autistic masking, brook horse has a great personal explanation describing how a neurodivergent person must negotiate any sort of communication in ways that are so stressful and unbalanced.